I’ve read these 2 articles from a talented writer Sophia Dembling about talking too much ( #1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-introverts-corner/201704/open-letter-people-who-talk-too-much
#2 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-introverts-corner/201709/more-talk-about-talking-too-much)
and as a person who bares the “curse” of gab I must admit my feelings were hurt. The truth hurts. I do suffer from anxiety and many other insecurities and emotional issues hence, the probable nucleus of my word deluges. In anguish I excepted the truth oozing from those articles as the points made were very valid, not well taken, but valid. Tears fell effortlessly from my eyes as I read: An open letter to people who talk too much, but they dried up by the end of: More talk about talking too much. As my emotions shifted into survival mode I developed a defensiveness to the hypocrisy. Writing is speaking/talking as well. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, when a non talkative verbally reserved person writes, their wind is just as long as us chatterboxes Ms. Dembling felt the need to publicly bash in her articles. Despite the author’s claim of being a woman who is as silent as the grave, via writing she spoke a river of endless words and her feelings were made very clear long before her points became an over murder in article #2. So is it really that quiet people are not excessive talkers… or is it that they lack the emotional courage and intellectual organization needed to verbalize their deepest truths and feelings as instantaneously and efficiently as those self indulgent over talking evil people. Or maybe they just don’t care about conversing deeply in general. Do-ers rather than talk-ers; I’ll drink to that”! Ahh, the irony that anything one has to say is always too much when you don’t like what’s being said.
As a member of the talkers union I feel compelled to further explain our plight. Once we’ve been branded as having mouths that spew too many words, we are sadly vilified for opening our mouths for anything other than eating. If we’re asked a question and answer it thoroughly, we’re talking too much. If we decide to express our feelings instead of holding them in and developing emotional and social issues, we’re talking too much. If we are very knowledgeable on a subject and share the gems of that knowledge, we’re talking too much. If you have the audacity to embellish what might otherwise be a bland story or give details while giving directions, we’re talking too much. For my sanity I like to think verbal content marks the difference between talking too much and having a lot to say.
But, what is for certain is that talking less and listening more will reward you more genuine lasting relationships, which explains the very few I have. It’s also more beneficial to your social and emotional health. In fact our very human design supports this with us having two ears and one mouth. With that being said, this will now and forever become a big part of my life’s work, to speak less, a lot less,
and always listen. Not so much to gain likeableness but as to not trap others in the agony of my word storms. Thankfully I have a very rich internal life that affords me to live vibrantly within the realms of my inner self, while I eternally refrain from plaguing others with the motors of my mouth.
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